Saturday, May 25, 2013

Pope Francis and the Righteous Atheists


A lot of my non-believer friends were very excited about the news going around that (as the Huffington Post put it) “Pope Francis Says Atheists Who Do Good Are Redeemed, Not Just Catholics.” They took it as some sort of radical shift towards Universalism or Pelagianism, as if the Pope had said all good people go to Heaven.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I like Francis much more than I did his predecessor, but he isn’t about to show up at the local Unitarian Church for the sacrament of coffee and doughnuts. He didn’t just toss out centuries of Catholic doctrine and catechism in an off the cuff remark. He is on the record that he believes “it is not possible to find Jesus outside the Church,” and that “the [true] gate is Jesus and those who do not enter by this gate are mistaken.”

The misunderstanding is the result of a lack of  education (both among the general public and in the atheist community) about the history of Christianity and its doctrines. In this case, the confusion stems from technical meaning of “redemption.” Francis did not say that even atheists who are good are saved. He said, “The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ: all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone! ‘Father, the atheists?’ Even the atheists. Everyone!” 

Note the specific reference to the “Blood of Christ” here. Francis is referring to the death of Jesus as atoning for the sins of humanity. In short, Christians believe that Jesus’ death paid off the human debt of sin. (How exactly this worked remains a matter of debate.) In Catholic teachings, this redemption included every human (Calvin, among others, disagreed), but that only includes the potential for salvation. Salvation is still contingent on accepting the message of Jesus. Jesus bought everybody a ticket, as it were, but each person must choose to take the ride.

Some of my friends protested that the really important thing was that Francis acknowledged that non-Catholics, even atheists, are capable of doing good. Again, I don’t think this is much of a departure, at least for Catholicism. There are some wings of Protestantism that would assert that good works are meaningless or even impossible in the absence of faith in Jesus, but such a view isn’t typical of Catholicism, especially since Vatican II. It was the Catholics, after all, who concocted an (unofficial) explanation to spare “virtuous pagans” the torments of Hell.

I do think what Francis said was important, inasmuch as it indicates that he thinks relieving human suffering is more central to the church’s mission than, say, hating gay people or limiting women’s rights. And it is nice that he specifically included atheists in this context. But this wasn’t a Kumbaya moment. 

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Poop. In the Biblical Sense. (Part 1)


(Heres the original content I promised. It’s a bit too much for a single sitting, so I’ve broken it into chunks.)

So, I was brainstorming presentation ideas for a fellowship interview that never came to pass, trying to find something that would highlight my particular approach to the Bible and really show off my personality.
And then I thought, “poop!”¹

See, the Book of Judges is one of my favorite books in the Bible because it is so…un-Bible-y. Sure, it is framed in this very classic, Deuteronomistic pattern of transgression, punishment, repentance, and deliverance. Time and again, the Israelites stray from their obligations to God, who then sends foreign nations to punish them. When all seems lost, the Israelites repent, and God raises up a leader or “judge” (Hebrew שֹׁפֵט, shofet), who delivers Israel from their enemies. Lather, rinse, repeat.

But within this framework we find stories—some of them very old²—that often seem closer to folk-tales than sacred history, full of sex, human sacrifice, dismemberment, and aggravated tent-pegging.

And poop jokes.

Now, from Aristophanes to South Park, all cultures have recognized that poop is hilarious. This was no less the case among the ancient Israelites, although they were a little more discrete about it. Still, most of us read the Bible in translation, and not only have translators tried to maintain a certain dignified tone when dealing with scripture, the simple fact is that jokes are incredibly hard to translate, especially when word-play is involved. And Hebrew’s system of tri-consonantal roots lends itself to word play, especially with respect to vowel movements.

One such example can be found in Judges 3:12-30, which recounts how the judge Ehud kills Eglon, king of the Moabites. Eglons name (Heb. עֶגְלוֹן), it’s worth noting, bears a striking resemblance to the Hebrew words ʿegel (עֵגֶל), meaning “fatted calf,” and ʿagol (עָגֹל), “round,” so the non-Hebrew reader has already missed that the villain of the piece is essentially named “King Swolencalf.”

Anyway, Ehud is a Benjaminite, and as everybody knows, Benjaminites are left handed. Because “Benjamin” (Heb. בִּנְיָמִין) means “son of the right hand.” (OK, not all of these are winners. Maybe it’s like calling a bald guy “curly.”) So when Ehud is called before the ample King Beefround, he conceals a short-sword on his right side (because who has time to frisk both sides of a guy?), and when the moment is, um, right, Ehud shoves the sword so deep into Lord Tubbington’s gut that he can hardly pull it out, and when he does….

Vayyetseʾ ha-parshedonah!

What on earth does this mean? What does it have to do with poop? Do scatological puns ruin someone’s chances at a tenure-track position? Tune in for our next installment to find out.



¹ While I was procrastinating, Robert Cargill managed to beat me to the punch, with respect to biblical poo.

² The “Song of Deborah” (Judges 5:1–31) is considered one of the oldest passages in the Hebrew Bible.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

“I’m in print! Things are going to start happening to me now!”

The new phonebook’s here! I’m somebody now!¹

I received my contributor’s copy of my first published work in the mail today!


You can pre-order your own copy of Castration and Culture in the Middle Ages from Amazon, or wherever fine books on the history of mutilation are sold. Mine is the third chapter, “Appropriation and Development of Castration as Symbol and Practice in Early Christianity,” covering Matthew 19:11‒12, the Rabbinic categories of eunuchs and ambiguous genitalia, and Origen’s “daring deed.”

I am also chuffed to discover that my dissertation has been cited in Philip L. Tite’s The Apocryphal Epistle to the Laodiceans: An Epistolary and Rhetorical Analysis, also available on Amazon, or wherever fine epistolary and rhetorical analyses of apocryphal epistles are sold.



¹ For those of you who don’t communicate entirely in dated pop-culture references, here is the source of today’s entry title:

 

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Pay to play: the cost of scholaring


Yesterday, I went to the Association for Jewish Studies website in order to submit a paper proposal for the annual conference.¹ I was surprised to find that, in addition to requiring that you be up-to-date on my membership dues before proposing a paper (which is understandable), they require you to pay next year’s dues, so you will be current at the time of the conference, and make you register and pre-pay $130 for the conference, before knowing if your paper will even be accepted!

Is this common practice? I have only submitted papers for SBL/AAR and smaller colloquia in the past, and I’ve never seen such a thing. Granted, AJS will give you a refund if your paper isn’t accepted and you decide not to come, but it seems a little prohibitive, especially for those of us without a department to help foot the bill. I mean, I’m lucky enough to have a day job that leaves me with a little money after my student loans and DC-area rent, but for a full-time adjunct, $130 could be a month’s worth of ramen. Or a doctor’s visit for a sick kid. Tying that money up until a decision is made on the proposal can constitute a real burden.
Now, AJS does have a sliding-scale for membership dues, and they prorate your membership so you don’t have to pay for another full year in January if you just joined in November (I’m looking at you, American Philological Society!). But perhaps they should consider—in light of the changes in the market—either extending the student conference discount to PhDs without TT posts, or at least wait until proposals are approved before requiring payment.

There were a couple of opinion pieces on Al Jazeera a few months back by Sarah Kendzior that discussed the financial barriers to non-affiliated scholars, especially in terms of access to scholarly publications. I hadn’t thought about that too much, until I was writing my proposal this weekend. See, my day job is at a major university, so I am accustomed to having access to their library and online resources. But this weekend I realized that if I want to continue research on my own, I can’t really leave this job, unless I can find one at another university. I have limited library privileges as an alumn at UVA, but they have locked down most of the online resources. 

I suppose I am spoiled for expecting to be able to do all of my research from my living room in my pyjamas, but that’s my point. The current conditions are creating a class system within academia, where those who are privileged with full-time positions have far more resources than those who do not. Now that the majority of courses are being taught by non-full-time faculty, keeping research materials out of the very people responsible for instructing students can only end badly. More to the point, I’ve already saddled myself with a Mercedes of debt in exchange for entrance into academia; how much more do I have to ante up for a seat at the table?



¹ The proposal is for a paper I’ve been meaning to do for years, comparing the pluralism of opinion found in Rabbinic discourse with that found in Greco-Roman symposia literature. My rabbinics professor from UVA will be pleased that I finally got around to it.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Speaking of worthless...

My apologies for neglecting this blog in the past several weeks. My day job has been taking a lot out of me lately, and I made the mistake of reactivating the distracting shiny object that is my personal Facebook account. But I have every intention of adding some meaningful content this weekend.

And now for some less meaningful content.

We have reached the point in the academic hiring season that is roughly analogous to a bar 10 minutes before last call, with a few desperate drunks left looking for anyone to go home with. Most of the TT openings have sent out their official rejections by now (although through the wonder of the Academic Jobs Wiki, you get to find out you didn't make the first cut for interviews in real time!), and all that remains are a few last-minute sabbatical-replacement VAP jobs (and in one case, a fellowship vacated by someone who took one of the jobs I didn't get). So far, the only nibble I've gotten is a single telephone interview for a fellowship.

Now, as far as the academic job market goes, I knew it was a scorpion when I let it on my back. I suppose it would be less frustrating if my day job as a help-desk monkey were more fulfilling, or even if I had some adjunct hours to look forward to after an exhausting day at work. (It's astonishing how much more energy I had this time last year, when I was teaching at GWU, even though I was often up all night preparing my lectures.)

I am really going to have to reconsider how I approach next year's search. I may have to start applying for New Testament/Early Christianity posts in addition to Hebrew Bible/Old Testament ones, because once you eliminate all the posts that demand "doctrinal conformity" or "a dedication to preparing $DENOMINATION clergy," there were barely a half-dozen TT HB/OT openings in the whole country this year. I should probably look into adjunct positions teaching intro Greek, Latin, or Biblical Hebrew classes, too.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Oh, I should mention that this blog is now accessible at http://www.worthlessmysteries.com! I also staked out academicbusking.com, although I haven't decided what to do with it. I will be updating this blog more often starting soon. I promise.

Monday, April 22, 2013